What I would change the most is to realize that no matter how much you love someone, you cannot change what they are going to do. That if they are having problems, you have to take care of yourself and to not try to do everything for that person. I would have recognized that you are not responsible totally for any adult person, but yourself. Like the airplane, I should have put on my “emotional breathing mask” before helping anyone else with their situation.

If I had a “do over” I would spend time finding out what I liked to do. I still would spend time with my garden. I would take a course in garden design. I would spend more time with the people that I enjoy their company, instead of fulfilling an endless amount of obligations. The biggest change I would make is not to feel guilty about saying no or have the other person accept responsibility.

I suppose it is human nature to reflect on one's past and try to see if something could have been done in a better way than it has already been done. Like everyone's life there have been ups and downs in my life too. In the downs, by personal tendency has been to philosophise and accept my fate. Karma! That all encompassing Indian term which accepts both good and bad as essential. The good is always welcome. The bad is something that I will have to live with. Can anyone really do something in a better way in the past given the hindsight that we now possess? I fairly doubt it. Every lesson in life has a price. Each of us has to pay it.

It also started a couple of months ago. I had gone for my usual walk in the nearby park along with my neighbor. I had a dizzy spell and fell down. My neighbor helped me home initially and to the hospital later. The diagnosis was a terminal illness will only a couple of weeks to look forward to at most. This could not be happening to me! This was the sort of stuff you would read in the newspaper about somebody living somewhere. Was this the result of the lifestyle choices I made? Could I have done something better somewhere along the way?

What's done is done; the clock cannot be turned back. I have not been a good spouse. When the choice was between career and quality time at home, career won all the time. I have got to make it up to my spouse in the time remaining to me. I realise that I have not fully appreciated my spouse and children to the extent they deserve. It behoves me to write exactly how much I treasure each and every one of them. The written word could probably be a tangible and lasting solace to them.

When i get a chance to watch something i opt to watch a reality show because it makes you aware of whats going around you and there are shows opens your eye and at times makes you think what you can do best to make life better. In reality shows there are no fiction no manipulating the truth behind the events. There is honesty i know sometimes they do add or remove things but still its original. And we live in a real life and there is much to know and see if we keep watching entertaining program ms we will not be aware of the reality around. That's why i always prefer watching reality shows.

I would really love it if I could create a society defined by accepting people for who they really are rather than judging people based on the old orthodox social conventions. And in this endeavour I would love to assume the position of the motivational speaker. I this society everyone will get opportunities to prove themselves, does not matter howsoever lame his/her area of interest is. We will constantly strive hard to get the most out of every individual. The only people who would not find a position in this society are utterly lazy people. Usually laziness is a symptom, not a problem. And I’ve thought about methods to eradicate laziness in most of the cases.

I get struck by nostalgia when I think about the enthusiasm with which I used to play soccer back in highschool. Whoa ! the class rivalry and everything ! It pretty much always got bizzare and barbric ! Matches mostly end up with fights, both teams always had atleast a couple of rowdies, was kind of awesome to watch. I played as a centre forward mainly because I was so freaking swift in the field. I did not have much tackling talent, but when I had the ball I never looked back, just move forward like a jet. And obviously, this kind of athletism had given me quite a lot of injuries.